Or the fallacy of “good on paper”
Ah, online dating. You take the good with the bad. Well, this was very bad 😆 When I was living in Charleston, I went on a date with someone whose profile checked the basic boxes. I think we talked on the phone once before, I can’t remember. The details are hazy, probably because I tried to block the memory. Anyway, we met at a well known bar downtown. I walk in, he stands up… and he’s at least a head shorter than me (not the end of the world, except when your profile says you’re a good 6 inches taller than you actually are and I’m 5’10”). The night went downhill from there. We walked around the bar, this guy I’d known for about 45 seconds, and he introduced me to people, name dropping left and right. After 7 years living in DC, my tolerance level for that is pretty much non-existent. I was groaning inside but figured I need to give it at least an hour or 2 (this was pre-business owner days. I had more f*&cks to give back then 😆). We went to another bar where he proceeded to flip through pics on his phone and show me his Rolex (who has a picture of their watch in their phone?) and his family’s investment properties. I’ve met this type before and it’s honestly hysterical. When you’re not impressed by the first round and they can’t understand it so they keep upping the ante.
Fast forward to what I thought would be the end of the night. I said I had to meet friends and he said he was going to meet friends elsewhere. Deflected an attempted kiss and that’s that. Or so I thought. He follows me to the bar, proceeds to get hammered, and keeps trying to talk to me. My guy friends kept blocking him until it escalated to the point where he tried to fight them. I hid in the bathroom while he’s shouting that he knows the chief of police and was going to have them all arrested. They somehow got him to leave. Best part? He called me the next day and left a voicemail wanting to go out again. 😆😆😆
So why am I reliving my online dating glory days? Parallels to legal and your business. You may have found something that on paper checks all the boxes. It might be a free contract, it might even be something you paid for. But do you actually know who drafted it? What you see is often not what you get. What crucial things are missing? (comprehensive protection? strong payment terms? A personality? Good anger management skills? 😆)
As good as they look on paper…
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Keep the faith 😉
And to all my fellow single business owners… keep the faith. The good ones outnumber the trolls hands down! My advice would be to get crystal clear on exactly how you want to feel (not “he has to be 6’4” with green eyes and…” i.e. the good on paper stuff), clear your baggage (we all have some), and get brutally honest with yourself. Call yourself out on your own bullshit and address your own toxic traits (again, we all have them). I did not like this part 😅 but it’s mind blowing when you look at all the stories you’ve been telling yourself and how they’re really just stories, and what you’ve manifested based on those stories. How a simple change in how you view things from your past and present can change your entire perspective. Personally, it’s given me profound appreciation for all my past experiences, even the shitty ones, and shifted my perspective in a big way.
You want epic love like I do? Well, you have to become a person worthy of not just attracting/magnetizing what you want, but also of sustaining it, and that means doing the deep work. I’m rooting for you. 😉💚
If you have a great bad date story, I’d love to hear it! Drop me a line via the message button.